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Day 6 - Me

I thought I should write a little bit about myself and give some context as to the point of this blog, as I hadn't thought to do that in the first post; at least, not very well!

Moving in with Mum and Gran has made it even more important to me that i'm successful and recognised for what I want to do. Before deciding to and even moving to London, being a writer/reporter/journalist and humanitarian was for more selfish interest. I've wanted to write since I can remember picking up a pencil, and it seemed inherent in my nature that I was a a story teller, but over the past few years, this motivation to imagine other worlds and fantasies shrunk, as a grew up and began to realise that there is so much to be done in this world, so much that needs fixing, before I can go gallivanting around and exploring other more secret and private worlds in my imagination. And writers have the power to change the world, EVERYONE has the power to make a difference and change the world, in the communication era that we live in especially, i've grown to realise that I have the potential to have such an impact. But whilst having this realisation, another has also become very important to me. Without going into too much detail about why and what has happened in the past, I want to change Mum's and Gran's futures, without promising any financial gifts or emotion and affection, I want to give them something else to live and be happy for, I want to be my parents achievement, and make them think that having one child WAS worth while after all.

Since the disintegration of my parents relationship and even before that, while other battles were fought, I learnt that everything happens for a reason, and every single person was BORN for a reason, sometimes, the reason comes naturally and is easy to figure out, sometimes you just know, like me. I believe this is because things can't just end up the way they are for no reason, or else they'd be no point, I could have turned out so many other millions of ways, but it didn't. There's a reason I can write and there's a reason I got into University, there's a reason I was born in 1995, and there's a reason I'm British. All of these happy coincidences have shaped me and made me want to do what I want to do. I think that I'm here for a number of different reasons, and the choices I make and the mistakes I learn from have to happen.

I want to travel and write and work for international aid organisations to let my Mum and Dad know that their marriage was worthwhile, I want to give my gran something to be happy about, and I want to have an impact on everyone I know and love. But I also want to go on this journey for me, and for the people that I want to help. And for the people I want to inform or entertain. And I hope I can read this on a day that i'm feeling sad, or de-motivated, or lost, (because those days WILL happen) and for it to reassure me, that I'm here for a reason. Like we all are. Sometimes we won't know it until old age or the day we die, but we'll all have an impact on someone.

So this blog is also here for another reason, it's here for me to know that the day will come that i'll be successful in something, I can look back on this and think, actually. I did have potential all along. Because it's so easy to lose grip on who you are and what values you truly have, and what you love and are passionate about.
This is for Mum, Dad, Gran and I, to let each and everyone of us know there's hope somewhere still, on the days we really feel we've lost it all.

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